Friday, March 2, 2012

Commuter Marriage

I came across this term last week. And since I've been on the topic of weddings and marriage lately, I thought I'd touch on this subject.
This is a new term to me. Commuter Marriage. And when I did some investigating, I discovered, Hubby and I have a Commuter Marriage

commuter marriage - n.
a marriage in which partners live some distance apart most of the time, usually because of separate work commitments

Not an arrangement I would have chosen but one that has been forced upon us out of necessity. You see, Hubby's place of work is 78 miles from the house here in Denver. The commute is just a tad bit too far and (can be) too treacherous for him to drive twice a day since he has to cross the Continental Divide on his way to and from work. So Hubby stays in a bachelor pad at work during the week and comes home for the weekends.

We try to cram as much together time, honey-dos, and must sees as we can into the two days of the week which Hubby is at home in Denver. Add in several grandchildren and children who all demand Dad/Grandpa's attention and the weekends are often filled to the brim with activity. Poor guy has to go back to work just to rest up!

The trying economic times have forced many couples into a Commuter Marriage. But this isn't something new. Just ask any military family. Long distance marriages are something they've dealt with for decades. And if we were to go further back in time, there were whalers and explorers who left wives and families behind for months on end. But while these Women of days-gone-by had more challenges to face while their Husbands were away, I still feel the same ache each Monday morning when I see Hubby drive off and the same thrill every Friday night when Hubby walks through the door.  And I know deep in my heart it won't be long before we'll be able to live together once more. It may only be a small cabin in the mountains but there won't be any more nights hugging a pillow to go to sleep.


Aine said...

May that day come quickly !! Being apart is hard. The Bard and I had a long-distance relationship before we were married and it was difficult. As you say, it was exciting right before I would see him but so sad when he left.

You're right though - this is certainly not the only time men/women have been separated due to work. Where I live many of the houses have "widow's walks" where the wives looked out to see hoping to see their husband's ship returning.

On, and btw, the cabin idea sounds very romantic.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

I've been in a couple of long distance relationships and it was tough. But you do what you must do in this life, eh? At least you can spend busy, busy, BUSY weekends together!

Robin Larkspur said...

I feel for you, Jeanne, so much! For the first 14 years of our marriage my husband was away a lot; a US Navy guy, he would be gone for weeks and months at a time, and during many of those deployments, we had no communication. It hurts like hell! Keep that dream of a little cabin close to your heart! Hugs to you!

Wendy S. said...

I know how hard apart it is being a distance from a partner (although I'm not facing that now) and I think you and hubby are doing a great job balancing this and family life. Quality not quantity at least for now. And keep the magick alive that you and hubby won't always be this far apart from each other.