A Touch of Humanity

 * * * I'll warn you now, this post is a bit wordy * * *

I hadn't planned a post for today. But something happened last night that really touched me and softened the hard core that had begun to form inside. I wanted to share this something with you.

Let me begin ........   I am a member of an online discussion forum for the town in which I live. It can be a lively place with discussions ranging from sun spots to wild hogs to politics. It's a great place to keep up on what's happening in the county, advertise items for sale, place a notice for a lost dog, or share recipes. I'm not necessarily a frequent contributor but will sometimes join discussions when I feel the need. And with the impending move, I have listed many items for sale.

One of these items was a 1950s style dining table set with matching hutch. I had tried to sell it for months and finally a lovely Lady called me to purchase it. This woman and her husband live in Galveston, Texas but had recently purchased a local commercial building for a future venture. She had the table set moved to this building. I never thought I would hear from this woman again. This took place about two weeks ago.

Let's fast forward to yesterday morning. Someone had posted on the forum the news about how some employers who place ads on the many online employment websites, state in their ads that the unemployed need not apply. This seems to be the growing trend. And it is perfectly legal. This struck a nerve with me because of my Hubby's recent encounter with being unemployed. I wanted to see what thoughts people had on this subject. All too often the people who are on the forum will only see things one way, never stopping to look at all angles of a situation. In this case the thread was degenerating into a bashing of those people who had drawn unemployment for the full 99 weeks - or 99ers as they are called. My Hubby was a 99er and this 'name calling' did not set well with me.

I would like for you to read my post.....
I wasn't going to join this discussion, but feel I must before folks start bashing the 99ers. 
Firstly, not all 99ers are leeches of the Gov't. Yes, there are some that choose to stay on unemployment rather than get a job but NOT ALL!

My husband was employed at the Mena airport and was laid off late in the year of 2008. He looked and looked for work around here. I looked for work. My skills were limited while his were not. Yet, neither of us could find a job. It was not financially possible for us to take a job in Ft. Smith or Hot Springs - it would cost us more in gas to commute than what either of us would make in wages. Believe me, neither of us WANTED to live off unemployment but yet that was our only option if we were to stay in the area.

So Hubby went to school to learn a new skill while continuing to draw unemployment. He felt that by doing this he would better his chances of getting a job, thus supporting his family and not being a "Leech" on The System. Sorry to say the education he received only enabled him to qualify for minimum wage jobs - he had neither the education nor the experience required for many of the better paying jobs in his new chosen field. So Hubby went back to applying for positions in fields where he had worked previously - auto body tech and motorcycle mechanic. He could make 3x to 4x the amount of money doing manual labor vs. a job that he had received an education for.

Hubby submitted resumes and applications - an average of 3 a day (for a period of 2 1/2 months) before he was finally hired. One place he went, a manager looked at his application and told him that they weren't accepting applications from the unemployed. Hubby told them he had been attending school. Hubby went to another place about 4 hrs after the job was posted on Craig's list. The manager already had a stack of at least a dozen applications and they were going to continue to take applications for two more days. The job market is extremely tough!!

I'm happy to say that Hubby started a new job just this past Monday. 

A member responded with an attempt to placate me on 'how well things turned out' but never once admitting that the 99ers weren't all lazy, slouches wanting to live off the Government. This was the same member who had begun the name calling. I know it is hard to admit to being wrong, but .....
This same member then went on to write about how lucky we were to have found work in the area and how 'easy' it is to receive public assistance (back to the lazy, slouches who live off the Gov't.)

My responses were.....
Actually Hubby didn't find work here. There are still not enough jobs to go around in this part of the country. Hubby found work in Denver. And that is where he had put in all of his applications for employment. We both knew that he wasn't going to get a good paying job around here, if he got a job at all. And the only "cost of living" that is higher there is rent and the cost of homes. Food, utilities, gas are all cheaper than here in Mena. I know this because I have three children who live in the Denver Metro area. I have compared utility bills (yes, down to the price per kilowatt or cost per gallon of water) and the cost of food. 
Maybe for some it is easy. But for others in need it is near impossible to receive any sort of assistance. When Hubby was on unemployment, we applied for food stamps. We didn't qualify because we owned our own home and our vehicles. According to the Gov't. we didn't qualify because we had too much in the way of assets. We felt like we were being punished...There were many times we borrowed from our kids to help make ends meet.
As far as I know, welfare checks are a thing of the past. My daughter who is pregnant and has three small children only qualifies for food stamps and WIC. (Due to a twist of events, my Son-in-law can no longer provide for his family) No monetary assistance from the Gov't. is available. If it wasn't for family, she and the kids would be living in a shelter.


There were only a few response after mine. And they all wrote about what a 'flawed' system the Gov't. has in determining who is eligible for public assistance. I figured that was the end of that. I was a bit disappointed that no members wished us well but I wasn't surprised. The people of this area have become quite self-centered and selfish.

And then I received an email notice that a forum member had sent me a personal message. It was from the Lady who had bought the table from me a couple weeks back. This email took me totally by surprise.....

Hi Jeanne; I read a little of what you and your husband have been going through. I think there are many people now who are standing in the shoes you've been in, many more so than I can remember at any other time in my life. I now know the reason you will be moving, and I'm glad that things turned out well for you, even though it's too bad it means you'll be leaving the Mena area. I would like to have met you. We'll be spending the first two weeks of Sept. in Mena, getting a little work done on the building, and also just enjoying the beautiful scenery. If you happen to be still living there then, and find yourself out and about, I hope you'll stop by and say hello. I warn you we'll be dressed in our work clothes! My best wishes to you and your family. 


I was brought to tears when I read her short note. There really are people out there in the world who care about others. I know the Blogging World is filled with caring, generous people but knowing that this one woman who didn't know me could reach out like she did  really softened the rock which had begun to form in my heart. Not one member of the community we live in - some who knew my Hubby quite well - had bothered to check to see how we were doing after he was laid off.

So, please, DO NOT hesitate to reach out to someone. Take a moment to send someone a letter or an email. Even if it's just to say, "Hey, I'm thinking about you".  Smile at more people - even if you don't feel like smiling.  Remember it's these little things that can brighten someone's day more than you'll ever know.