Monday, December 31, 2012

Cat Tales ~ New Year's Resolutions

Me and the other Kitties has been pondering what things We should improve upon in the coming year. And here's what We has come up with....

We will not perch on Mommy's chest in the middle of the night and stare into her eyes until she wakes up.

We will not play Herd of Thundering Wildebeests Stampeding Across the Plains of the Serengeti over Mommy's bed while she's trying to sleep.

Screaming at the can of food will not make it open itself.

We cannot leap through closed windows to catch birds outside. If We forget this and bonk Our head on the window and fall behind the couch in the attempt, We will not get up and do the same thing again.

When it rains, it will be raining on all sides of the house. It is not necessary to check every door.

Bird do not come from the bird feeder. We will not knock it down and try to open it up to get the birds out.

We will not stuff Ourselves into the rather small bird feeder (with tail hanging out one side) and expect the birds to just fly in. 

There are three very large Dogs that live with Us. They have lived with Us for several years. We don't have to act as if We've just discovered the Demon Horror of the Universe each time one of them appears.

We will not play "dead cat on the stairs" while people are trying to take laundry up or down.

We will not walk on the keyboard when Mommy is writing important emiognaioerp ga3qi4 taija3tgv aa35a.

We will not be miffed at Mommy all day and then kiss her on the nose at 2:00 a.m. to tell her that she is forgiven and can now pet me.

We will not puff Our body to twice its size for no reason after Mommy has finished watching a horror movie.

We will not swat Mommy's head repeatedly when she's on the floor trying to do sit ups.

When Mommy is typing at the computer, her forearms are NOT a hammock.

Computer and TV screens do not exist to backlight a lovely Kitty Tail.

We will not stand on the bathroom counter, stare down the hall and growl at nothing after Mommy or Daddy has finished watching The X-Files.

Signed - Gomez, Fantum, Goliath, Valentino, Squeaky, Sylvester, and Cousin Jane

Oh, and one more for Me .....
Me will try hard not to make Meself the center piece of the Holiday table.

Happy New Year!

Purz and Catnip Dreams ....... Gomez


Aine O'Brien said...

Happy New Year Gomez and friends! Good luck with those resolutions. I think you may have to start with baby steps!! :)

MrsDuncanMahogany said...

Ha, ha, ha! That is one fantastic post! So true. As I type this now, Abbey is on my lap, its early morning and she is starting hard at something on the ceiling. I have no idea but it still freaks me out just the same. Happy New Year!!!

Robin Larkspur said...

Gomez, you make some excellent resolutions here. I am going to print out this list for my kittens who are well on their way to doing everything you just mentioned. I will keep my fingers crossed that you might be able to keep some of these. Happy New Year to the cats, and demons, I mean dogs, and all the humans in your house.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

LMAO, those are great resolutions! And I predict that not a single one will be kept!

All the best in 2013 to you kitties, dogs and humans!

magikalseasons said...

So funny! Wishing you the best New Year!

Unknown said...

Happy New Year to you too Jeanne! Hope your year is filled with possibilities! :-) ~ Deb

Hel said...

Happy New Year Jeanne! Yeah what's up with that dead cat on the stair routine? Kind of counter intuitive to kill the supplier of the cat food.